Running On The Cheap

Jul. 27th, 2017 08:02 am
iosonochesono: (Simpsons: Hipster Lisa)
[personal profile] iosonochesono
I was thinking about how much driving all the way to San Diego or Long Beach to do a 5k would suck on a weekly basis. I may go Saturday, but that's a very long excursion to do more than once per month - bi-weekly at most. And a lot of these races are a few dozen dollars each to register.

Then I thought: what if I tried to start my own local 5k?

At first I was thinking I could try and start a work-specific one - which would be geared toward people in the store. But instead what if I did "Shopping Center Sprinters" and basically invited anyone in the vicinity to come out for a weekly run? And if people actually tried showing up, eventually I could try to collect really small dollar amounts (e.g. 1-5) for prizes?




I've been looking up room renting and found places that go as low as $450/month if you're willing to share a room. It might be an option temporarily for living independently of any family members (and for trying to test out if I like living in an area or not.)

So, knowing I can find places in my budget, it then becomes about paying off any debts and getting rid of unnecessary material possessions.

Fun And Excitement

Jul. 26th, 2017 10:02 pm
iosonochesono: (MLP: Super Happy/Excited)
[personal profile] iosonochesono
So, I want to work on doing adventurous things every weekend, and was thinking about trying to do paragliding this weekend. But I think it makes more sense to do a big thing every-other-weekend.

There's a 5k in Long Beach this weekend and since I'm considering trying to move up to Long Beach in March, I thought maybe I should start trying to get to the 5ks out there, explore the area. (Plus, it's a relatively inexpensive 5k.)

Maybe have a plan where every-other-week or so, I do something bucket-list big. (That's when I get a paycheck from both jobs.) Though it's not like I could even think to do that every week. Eventually, what will happen is things will get cheaper, because instead of doing it as tandem or part of a lesson I'll be doing it solo or with groups. Paragliding tandem is expensive, but paragliding by oneself is cheap. Skydiving in tandem is expensive, if I learn to skydive solo it's cheap. Rinse and repeat. Surfing lessons are expensive. Going out to the beach with a bodyboard and surfboard on my own? Pretty cheap.

So I'll spend more some weeks, and other weeks will get closer and closer to dirt cheap.

I've also decided I want to push the CNA and TEFL/CELTA specifically this year. I'm considering moving to Long Beach... But I may also just see if I can get teaching jobs out of the country.

Patrick really wants to do TEFL himself. Jessica was considering it. So it'd be something I could get into where I wasn't necessarily going it alone.
iosonochesono: Aang, Sokka, Katara being chased by the fire nation. (Avatar TLA: Trio AAAAH!)
[personal profile] iosonochesono


In today's episode of "My brother destroys everything he touches" - he does this to all his technology. This was part of the damage from the other day.

I remember this thing talking about abuse in a book - I think it was Why Does He Do That? or rather, a quote from that book in another book - and the doctor asking a patient whether their partner broke all things, or just hers. And it was pointed out that this was evidence of his conscientiousness and abuse - he was never enraged enough to actually lose all control and start breaking all the things in the house. He only attacked hers.

Well, in line with my brother being mentally ill as opposed to straight-up abusive... He destroys a lot of his own shit. Most of the stuff he was throwing was his own.

ReActivate

Jul. 26th, 2017 01:03 am
iosonochesono: (TPATF: Fray)
[personal profile] iosonochesono
I'm not sure how far I am through the ReActivate course (textbook.) A lot of it I remember. Some of it I need to review. Some things I need to review a lot.

I'm excited at the idea of becoming involved in the local dive community. I only hope I can start getting involved in 5k runs, as well. The main problem with running is that finding the time to train with two jobs is hard.




Learning about codependency has been really hard. I feel weary. I think of things I've tried to control so long and have finally stopped trying to control them. I think of all the ways I've let myself be a doormat over the years. I hurt over people I lost - either because I pushed them and hurt them, or because I imagined we were closer and more intimate than we were and opened up too hard and too fast.

I've cried a lot the last week. It hasn't all been bad. There's been a lot of thinking about the ways I isolated myself, the way I pushed people away, all the ways I became a husk and tried to fill my identity by attaching myself to another person. People I hurt specifically because I wanted to make sure they were never in my life again. People I've neglected because I was so worried what they thought of me. That stuff hasn't been pleasant. Of those things, the most harrowing has been Memo, because Memo really never did anything really wrong. It just sucked that he found his soulmate when he did.

There's been a lot of confusion - a lot of attempted thought as to who I am, what I like. That feeling, the feeling of being empty or blank. It's a sign of depression and codependency. Undeveloped or neglected self. If I don't know, it's a chance to look for experiences.

The more I stop letting other people be an excuse for why I don't do things - surf, hike, skydive, bungee jump, paraglide, SCUBA dive, etc. - the better I feel. And in the same vein, I've stopped being a perfectionist. I'm not waiting to be 120LBS before starting to dive again. I'll continue to try and be healthier and stronger. But I am going to get back into diving now.

I cut a lot of people from FaceBook, and plan to cut more. If we don't talk or hang out, we're not friends, and I don't want to pretend to be friends with people. I want to work on being the person I am.




Some people at work are really mad that I went skydiving without inviting them. It's really funny, because I kept inviting people skydiving over the last year. And people kept making excuses for why they couldn't go.

And a lot of these people don't invite me anywhere. Or they bail. They don't invite me to parties, they don't invite me clubbing, they bail on running or hiking.

I don't feel like bringing people along with me on adventures when we don't even do day-to-day conversations. I don't want to take someone sky-diving if they're not someone I feel I can talk to about what goes on in my home.

So I won't.

Maybe I will invite people, eventually. But I feel like if I can't even count on you for a jog, why should I count on you to travel or go on adventures with? I mean, there's a lot of 'let it happen' and 'go with the flow' mentality when discussing codependency and trying to establish more relationships and bond with others so you're not relying too much on a small network. But it just seems stupid for people to expect me to invite them along on the big outings when we don't do small stuff together. Like. The people you're supposed to do the adventurous stuff with are supposed to be people you already do the little things with.

Weekly Otherkin Chat Starting Now!

Jul. 26th, 2017 12:00 am
jarandhel: (Kirin)
[personal profile] jarandhel
Reminder: Weekly #otherkin chat starting now, in irc://irc.mibbit.net/dreamhart! Webclient here: http://dreamhart.org/chat/

ReActivate

Jul. 25th, 2017 03:09 pm
iosonochesono: The Rachel Maddow Show (Political: Rachel Maddow Show Sign)
[personal profile] iosonochesono
The PADI ReActivate course is (currently) really common-sense. Then I just have to go by the dive shop I made my 'home' dive shop and see about getting dives set up with a Master Diver.

My thought is I'll 'ReActivate' all my past certifications first, then see if I can knock them all out in the same few dives. (I only had three.) Then I'll start getting involved with the dive clubs in Orange County.

Then after that I want to start doing specialty courses - especially wreck diver and cavern diver. But I'll probably focus on a few of the easier ones first, e.g. Underwater photography.




The flight school responded to tell me they don't sell dollar-value gift certificates online but if I visit them I can get a dollar-value gift certificate there. So what I'll do is go down there to do a tandem flight, and each time I do, I'll have $200-$400 to put on a gift certificate toward the P1 + P2 certification combo.




I was thinking about trying to apologize to Jordan and telling him he really doesn't need to avoid me at work. Like, my feelings will recover (I think they would have already if it hadn't been his avoidance at work.)

But I'd already told him that. So instead I guess I'll just try to practice MYOB: Mind Your Own Business. Eventually he'll either stop avoiding me, or one of us won't work in the shopping center anymore.




In the meantime... Time to go to work.

Reading Challenge

Jul. 25th, 2017 10:01 pm
lacerta: (Klimt)
[personal profile] lacerta
I'm so ridiculously behind on this.

The Belkin Tales, by Alexander Pushkin
I started reading these after a recommendation from Boy; he said that The Shot was possibly his favourite short story ever. I don't quite share that sentiment lol. The Tales consist of 5 different short stories ranging from gothic to romantic to tragic. As I understand very little of the literary conventions of early 19th century Russia, which Pushkin apparently influenced quite a lot, I'm probably not appreciating these stories as much as they deserve to be. For me, it was an okay read ~for a male. 3/5

Cat's Eye, by Margaret Atwood
GREAT GREAT GREAT. GREAT!!!!!!!! Maybe the first book ever that's made me dream about it. It's the story of a painter who returns to the city of her childhood/adolescence and reflects on the bullying she experienced as a child. There's a fantastically gothic quality to some of the narration, and I absolutely love how it handles the complexity of gender and sexism. It feels like this is the kind of fat, intense book that's omnipresent from male writers and it's kind of blowing me away to see a woman's experience dissected and laid out from her pov. 10/10
(tw self harm!)

The Price of Salt (Carol), by Patricia Highsmith
ALSO GREAT. It's about a lesbian couple in 1950s New York. I don't know if "sweet" is the right way to describe this - the narrator can get quite melancholic (and a little dramatic at times lol; understandable considering the circumstances), but Highsmith's prose has something so tender and affectionate to it, and a somehow very comforting attention to details. I'm not sure how to describe this best, except by saying that I enjoyed it a lot and I enjoyed how it made me feel. Bonus spoiler: there's a happy ending! 5/5

Weekly Otherkin Chat 8pm EST Tonight

Jul. 25th, 2017 11:01 am
jarandhel: (Kirin)
[personal profile] jarandhel
Reminder: Weekly #otherkin chat at 8pm EST, in irc://irc.mibbit.net/dreamhart! Webclient here: http://dreamhart.org/chat/

Redesign

Jul. 24th, 2017 10:11 am
ashtoreth: (lioness that snarls)
[personal profile] ashtoreth
 What can I say about this year?

It's been moderately better than last year, but still with creative and energetic lulls that seem more depressing than normal.

And cruel.

I finally had ideas, motivation, and time when what did I discover... Photobucket is full of bullshit and fuckery, and wants to charge ransom prices to 3rd party host images. You know, I could go with $40 a year. $400, uh, no, not happening.

Fortunately, a beautiful friend has gifted me space at Pan Historia to get my account there back to normal. I'll be wrangling things there to my satisfaction and rippling down through the DW accounts.

So, please pardon the blood, dust, sweat, and tears. I'm redesigning while the boys in the lab work on combustible lemons.


Family Drama

Jul. 23rd, 2017 02:29 pm
iosonochesono: (DP: You and I (Sam to Danny))
[personal profile] iosonochesono
Kevin, "Can you take me to Target?"
Me, "Okay, let's go now so I can sleep before my night shift."
Me, "Hey can you hide your [pot]? It's poisonous to cats."
Kevin, "No it's not."
Me, "Yes it is, you can look it up online."
Kevin, "Never mind, I don't even wanna go to CostCo and Target. I don't want to deal with the stress. I don't need this third degree."
Me, "I wasn't giving you the third degree, I was asking you to keep the pot--"
Kevin, "NEVER MIND."



Thirty Minutes Later After I've Come Home




Kevin, "Mind taking me to the gas station?"
Me, "You asked me to take you to Target. I agreed, and you changed your mind. I'm sorry you're stressed out, but I'm home now and planning to sleep before work."

And... Now he's screaming at everyone and throwing stuff. But maybe he'll realize this constant yanking on my chain is inappropriate. I'm not sure how much this works when the drug/alcohol abuser you're dealing with someone who ALSO has a personality and mood disorder.

He doesn't get it. We don't want him gone. We want him to get help. But letting his mood swings dictate all our decisions is not a solution.

In the 'getting out of this living situation' - since paying half the rent didn't work in giving me a better say in my living situation and Dad still forced us to let Kevin move back in - I'm thinking I could try moving to Anaheim? There's an ROP nursing program there, I wouldn't have to quit any job, and it's a good halfway point to Long Beach, too, which is where the CNA courses are hosted.

Room-searching scares me though. Lots of creepy advertisements. Then again, it can't be that much worse than living with my brother. Except the ads looking to rent a room 'for free' in exchange for being an 'FWB.'

Like... I know most men are not disgusting, most people are generally good (or at least well-intentioned), etc.

But there are some doozies when you're looking at ads searching for roommates.
duskpeterson: An apprentice builds a boat as a man looks on. (Default)
[personal profile] duskpeterson
Law Links


"Sometimes I feel that he is as mysterious as the gods, and that he is hiding something of vital importance from me. Something that would transform my life."

Few events are more thrilling in a young man's life than a blood feud between two villages. Or so Adrian thought.

Torn between affection toward his traditional-minded father and worship of his peace-loving, heretical priest, Adrian finds himself caught between two incompatible visions of his duty to the gods. Then the Jackal God sends Adrian a message that will disrupt his world and send him fleeing to a new and perilous life.




LifePrison


"'You have committed a vile and savage act, one that any other nation would punish with death. Our punishment, on the other hand, will only be to give you what you want. You have sought to live in a world without boundaries of civilization, and such a world shall henceforth be your dwelling place.'"

A cold-hearted murderer. A vicious abuser. A young man hiding a shameful secret. A bewildered immigrant. A pure-minded spy.

All of these men have found their appointed places at Mercy Life Prison, where it is easy to tell who your enemies are. But a new visitor to Mercy is about to challenge decades-old customs. Now these men's worst enemies may be hiding behind masks . . . and so may their closest allies.




Checkmate


"It's all about torture. That's what I didn't understand for a long time. The High Seeker has been seeking out and punishing those of us who wish to show greater mercy to the prisoners than the Code allows. Those of us who question whether it's right to torture prisoners."

The Eternal Dungeon is no longer a prison. It's a battlefield.

Split apart from their closest loves and friends, a small group of prison-workers seek to abolish the use of torture against prisoners in the queendom's royal dungeon. Time is running out, for the deadly High Seeker has already flogged and executed prison-workers who oppose his policies.

Do the reformers have enough time and skill to bring about radical change in the dungeon? Will they be able to overcome their mistrust of one another?




To receive notices of my fiction by e-mail )

Thoughts

Jul. 23rd, 2017 01:14 am
iosonochesono: (TPATF: Ambitious)
[personal profile] iosonochesono
So I was looking at bungee jumping tomorrow, or paragliding, but then I decided I didn't want to do things that would take hours of my day and make me tired for work that night.

Which is too bad, because it was so tempting.

Instead I'm going to try to go rock climbing tomorrow, and study up the certifications I'm 'ReActivating.'

I'd like to work on backpacking too. I was thinking I could start getting the gear, going to one of the local campsites on the weekend, and practice basics. Then I could do trips when I feel comfortable with the gear and believe I can make it a few days without running back to town.

Cleaning with Cynthia

Jul. 20th, 2017 09:13 am
chochiyo_sama: (Default)
[personal profile] chochiyo_sama
 I had set the alarm for 8:30, so I could get a few things done before Cynthia arrived.  I caught up on my journal entries first as I was falling terribly behind.  I keep a prayer journal that I write in every night, and what I write in that reminds me of the events of the day so I can record them in my regular journal here.

I cleaned the toilet and the sink in the bathroom as I don't want Cynthia to have to clean my toilet--and since I was already in the cleaning spirit in there, I did the sink too.  She later did the floor and polished the mirror and took the rugs outside and shook them, so the bathroom is sparkling clean now.

Cynthia returned my bar pan and thanked me again for the pumpkin bars.  They didn't last long at her house.  I wasn't sure if my aunt wanted Cynthia today or next week, so I called her to find out.  It is next week, so she can have her house nice and clean for Rachelle's baby shower.  My aunt is a talker, so I had a hard time getting off the phone.  Cynthia got right to work, hauling out my garbage and recycling to the bins, shaking the small rugs, and vacuuming the area rugs and the upholstered furniture.

She wiped down the mats under the cats' dishes and swept and scrubbed the floors in every room.  She washed the washer and dryer in the laundry room--they were pretty grungy--I hadn't done anything with the since I moved in.  I have to do something about the inside of the washer--the former owners didn't use the water softener, so there is like a scum coating the inside of the porcelain parts of the washer.  I don't know if running a cycle with bleach or maybe vinegar would take care of it.  It just looks dirty.

Mom had run across the three ceramic butterflies that my grandmother had painted at my aunt Darla's ceramic studio years ago--when she died, no one wanted the butterflies, so I took them.  They are painted in pinks and purples.  She had sent them home with me a few days ago, and I had Cynthia hang them up in the bathroom on the wall over the toilet.  They look really cute there.  The bathroom is a real dull yellow.  I would like to paint it a very pale lavender.  My bathroom rugs are pink, but I don't want a pink bathroom.  Eventually the rugs will have to be replaced.

My cats refused to use the deep litter boxes with the covers on them, so I had Cynthia put them in the tote in the garage that I am saving for Tammy.   She can give one to Sadie for the SunMan (Sadie's cat) and keep the other for her upstairs.  These litter boxes are just great as the litter doesn't get kicked out all over everything, and in Tammy's case, they prevent the Chihuahuas from eating the cat poop.

She polished all the wood furniture with Orange Glow, which really makes the furniture shine, and spritzed the linen closet with a lavender linen spray that I got years ago at the Crown Plaza where I attended a teachers' workshop.  She carried a few things to the basement for me--just a handful of Barbie stuff--and moved all my cookbooks into the kitchen.  I have to locate a short bookcase that I can put in the kitchen under the windows in the corner so I can have my cookbooks handy.

She worked just under two hours.  Then we had roast beef and cheese sandwiches on Kaiser rolls and just chatted for a while.  She is such a good kid and a very hard worker. 

When she left, I sat in my recliner and enjoyed the sparkling, fresh beauty of my house.  It looks so nice when she is done.  I worked on the little butterfly dresses for a while, then Mom called and I talked to her for a while.  Both cats came out and took turns sitting on Momma's lap and getting snuggles.  They hide when Cynthia is here because she runs  the vacuum cleaner--they hate the vacuum cleaner. 

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful.  I watched some television and went to bed fairly early and watched a bunch of videos on YouTube before going to sleep.










 

Skydive SCUBA dive

Jul. 21st, 2017 04:35 pm
iosonochesono: (Default)
[personal profile] iosonochesono
I am literally taking the SCUBA refresher WHILE waiting to be suited up to skydive. #multitasking

Skydiving!!!

Jul. 20th, 2017 04:49 pm
iosonochesono: (Avatar TLA: Toph Escatic)
[personal profile] iosonochesono
I booked a skydiving trip for tomorrow!!

I'd been waiting to go in Monterey (world's highest tandem dive) but I'll try later in the year.

I'm also thinking about surfing lessons. I'd been wanting to a while. But I have two days off this week.

Then I'm also trying to figure out where I want to take photos this weekend.

Weekly Otherkin Chat Starting Now!

Jul. 19th, 2017 12:00 am
jarandhel: (Kirin)
[personal profile] jarandhel
Reminder: Weekly #otherkin chat starting now, in irc://irc.mibbit.net/dreamhart! Webclient here: http://dreamhart.org/chat/

Addendum

Jul. 13th, 2017 10:13 am
chochiyo_sama: (Default)
[personal profile] chochiyo_sama
Last Christmas, the kids at the Refuge gave me a cute pink water bottle that has a plastic straw built right into the cover.  I think it is called a "Contigo."  It's sort of like a tall sippy cup for adults.  The "nipple" part folds under to keep it clean and to prevent random strangers from roofie -ing your beverage while you are looking away, I guess.  Anyhow, I get thirsty in the night, so I usually fill it with ice then with water from my water cooler and take it to bed with me. 

So, I was in bed, watching TV.  I had already had a couple of sips from the Contigo.  I had one more and something came up through the straw--it felt like a piece of plastic--hard but flexible.  I felt it roll around in my mouth and pushed it forward with my tongue, thinking that a piece of the straw must have broken off.  I plucked it out of my mouth and was instantly aghast and disgusted.

IT WAS A FUCKING EARWIG. 

I had just washed the contigo, so it either crawled into the straw when it was in the dish drainer or it was hanging out by the spout of the water cooler and fell in when I filled it with water or it was lounging on the refrigerator where the ice comes out of the ice maker and fell in.  I think it was already either dead or comatose due to hypothermia from the ice water.  But I squashed its guts out anyway and threw it into the waste basket.  Fucking earwigs.

I kill 2-5 of the bastards a day.

I discovered that there is quite a gap between the basement door and the kitchen floor, so I suspect they are coming up through there.  Next time I am out and about, I will look for some kind of stripping to put there, so the door is more flush with the floor. 

And I am setting out earwig drowning traps as well.  They all must DIE.